The Deben Goddess
Music: Personal Jesus
Artist: Depeche Mode
Shared by: Steve for Jenny
“As I listened to the pounding beat and the words they struck me like hammer blows. That song really spoke to me.”
My piece of music came to me a few months after Jenny died.
It was given to me by a rockstar called Kevin, the frontman for a band called the Biscuit Brothers, who are world famous in Woodbridge, Suffolk.
It was Jenny who had originally introduced me to the Biscuit Brothers and whenever they were playing at one of the local pubs we would go and support them. They are a great band and it was always a great evening.
Cut to 2020 and COVID when we all spent most of that year isolated from each other and prisoners in our own homes. On 17th September Jenny was diagnosed with a brain tumour. A death sentence, with just months to live.
It was unexpected, devastating, and brutal. Just 51 days later on 5th November she died peacefully at home during the second lockdown.
Jenny was well known in Woodbridge having lived and worked locally, as a schoolteacher, all her life, but, because of the pandemic, many people were unaware that she was no longer with us. As we slowly emerged from our incarceration, into 2021, I regularly had to answer the question. “Hi Steve, where’s Jenny?” it never got easier.
Shops, businesses and activities began to find a new normal and the Biscuit Brothers announced they would be playing another gig. A week or so later I met Kevin in the street. He asked me the same question and, like everyone else, he was shocked to hear that he would never see Jenny again. I promised to be at the gig.
When that day arrived, I wasn’t so sure I could face it. I was bound to see a few familiar faces for the first time that year and be asked the inevitable question. I very nearly bottled it! Something, probably Jenny, got me to the pub. I slipped in, hugged my pint, cuddled the bar, and hid under my invisibility cloak. Once the band began playing I was happy to be there.
Halfway through the first set Kevin was addressing the audience when he said, “This next song is for Steve and Jenny.” The way he announced it made it feel as if Steve and Jenny were BOTH present. I finally looked up and scanned the room, searching for another couple to acknowledge the song. Nobody did. I felt my heart racing. Then the band struck up and Kevin began singing Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode. As I listened to the pounding beat and the words they struck me like hammer blows. That song really spoke to me.
At the end of the set the band made their way over to the bar, and when the opportunity presented itself I asked Kevin how many Steve and Jenny’s he knew. He looked at me quizzically and smiled, “Just one” he replied.
In that moment I fully acknowledged the song. Now, whenever I hear it I am immediately transported back to my time with Jenny.
Thanks Kevin.